The nightclub facade
So over the course of the Christmas holidays and eventual return to university I feel like I've been swamped by the crazy mentality of people wanting to spend their time in night clubs. Jesus wept.
I'm sure this is going to end up being somewhat controversial, considering they are largely the sole form of Friday night entertainment for people around my age. But that's my entire point. I don't understand what the fuck is going on. I don't understand the culture that they attract, or what's expected of my behavior whilst inside... I mean, am I automatically granted an "act like a dick head" pass on entry? Or are people paying extra for those?
In Chester we have the choice of two main clubs; one of which is a dingy hovel that has been around for more than 30 years and absolutely shows it on all levels, that attracts people from all walks of life- which of course isn't a good thing, as most walks of life these days just want a fight, and who better to fight than those from alternative walks of life? It has an overwhelming aroma of school disco covering every inch of it, inescapable and rather putrid- whether that's because all of the children in there or all of the paedophiles congregating amongst them I'm not certain but I'd put money on it being 50-50. I even had to pay double the coat room fee once, because my coat had 2 zips. Merry Christmas to you too, you sweaty little drip. Think I might have to burn the place down....
And as for the other club, fucking hell. You must be over-privileged and disgustingly blinkered to be considered anything other than a peasant whilst inside, engulfed by a swarm of silver-spoon-fed toffs and wankers that are, yes, DEFINITELY looking down their noses at you because you're not wearing the new Jack Wills Y-front range... They know you're not wearing them too, because you're also not wearing a v neck that reaches your waist band to give it away, probably not wearing your hair like Jedward either are you? Poor effort, commoner! You're judged before you even walk through the front door, by people who think they've a better education because they paid for theirs, or at least daddy did... got news for ya dick heads- you can pay for your education but you can't buy class. Besides, does it even matter what shoes you wear? They're only going to stick to the fucking floor anyway.
It's the kind of place that has bouncers in tuxedos to try and divert attention from the fact that they'll be stamping someone's head into a curb come 4am- and the saddest thing about that sentence is that the bloke they'll be knocking out almost certainly deserves it. You just kind of know it, y'know?
With this in mind, I want to know why we do it? Why do we take ourselves to these places where we're surrounded by 16 year old girls dressed in nothing but belts and bra's out for nothing but memory loss and a shameless fingering in the darker corner of the room, and sniveling slimy tanked-up morons that can barely spell their own names, with no intentions other than getting paralytic and dancing to utterly dire DJ's that could too easily be replaced by a 13 year old girls iPod shuffle, which I hasten to add, would probably do a much better job of mixing.
These places were created by men who wanted to sleep with women but were too stupid to impress with words and actions- And so founded a place where talk was impossible, never mind unnecessary. Personally, I'd rather see people in bars, conversing, laughing, and joking, while still enjoying a drink. Read books, read newspapers, listen to live bands, listen to live producers, dress comfortably, and meet people with personalities rather than falling for someone who dressed "nice" one time then gave you a good time in the club toilets before you'd even traded names.
And on top of that, don't instantly assume when you meet someone that it's all about screwing- some people are a big fan of positive vibes in others.
I refuse to believe that I'm the only one that wants the floor to open up and swallow everything in sight when inside these places. So if you're not enjoying yourself one time, come find me and I'll happily leave for a quiet one with you- you'll find me in the smoking area giving shit to nonce's while I bleed from the ears.
Have some fucking dignity and stop dragging the name of our generation through the dirt, cheers.
I'm sure this is going to end up being somewhat controversial, considering they are largely the sole form of Friday night entertainment for people around my age. But that's my entire point. I don't understand what the fuck is going on. I don't understand the culture that they attract, or what's expected of my behavior whilst inside... I mean, am I automatically granted an "act like a dick head" pass on entry? Or are people paying extra for those?
In Chester we have the choice of two main clubs; one of which is a dingy hovel that has been around for more than 30 years and absolutely shows it on all levels, that attracts people from all walks of life- which of course isn't a good thing, as most walks of life these days just want a fight, and who better to fight than those from alternative walks of life? It has an overwhelming aroma of school disco covering every inch of it, inescapable and rather putrid- whether that's because all of the children in there or all of the paedophiles congregating amongst them I'm not certain but I'd put money on it being 50-50. I even had to pay double the coat room fee once, because my coat had 2 zips. Merry Christmas to you too, you sweaty little drip. Think I might have to burn the place down....
And as for the other club, fucking hell. You must be over-privileged and disgustingly blinkered to be considered anything other than a peasant whilst inside, engulfed by a swarm of silver-spoon-fed toffs and wankers that are, yes, DEFINITELY looking down their noses at you because you're not wearing the new Jack Wills Y-front range... They know you're not wearing them too, because you're also not wearing a v neck that reaches your waist band to give it away, probably not wearing your hair like Jedward either are you? Poor effort, commoner! You're judged before you even walk through the front door, by people who think they've a better education because they paid for theirs, or at least daddy did... got news for ya dick heads- you can pay for your education but you can't buy class. Besides, does it even matter what shoes you wear? They're only going to stick to the fucking floor anyway.
It's the kind of place that has bouncers in tuxedos to try and divert attention from the fact that they'll be stamping someone's head into a curb come 4am- and the saddest thing about that sentence is that the bloke they'll be knocking out almost certainly deserves it. You just kind of know it, y'know?
With this in mind, I want to know why we do it? Why do we take ourselves to these places where we're surrounded by 16 year old girls dressed in nothing but belts and bra's out for nothing but memory loss and a shameless fingering in the darker corner of the room, and sniveling slimy tanked-up morons that can barely spell their own names, with no intentions other than getting paralytic and dancing to utterly dire DJ's that could too easily be replaced by a 13 year old girls iPod shuffle, which I hasten to add, would probably do a much better job of mixing.
These places were created by men who wanted to sleep with women but were too stupid to impress with words and actions- And so founded a place where talk was impossible, never mind unnecessary. Personally, I'd rather see people in bars, conversing, laughing, and joking, while still enjoying a drink. Read books, read newspapers, listen to live bands, listen to live producers, dress comfortably, and meet people with personalities rather than falling for someone who dressed "nice" one time then gave you a good time in the club toilets before you'd even traded names.
And on top of that, don't instantly assume when you meet someone that it's all about screwing- some people are a big fan of positive vibes in others.
I refuse to believe that I'm the only one that wants the floor to open up and swallow everything in sight when inside these places. So if you're not enjoying yourself one time, come find me and I'll happily leave for a quiet one with you- you'll find me in the smoking area giving shit to nonce's while I bleed from the ears.
Have some fucking dignity and stop dragging the name of our generation through the dirt, cheers.
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